Archive for June, 2008

Can’t Contain It
June 6, 2008

SO YEAH, I’M IN ANOTHER SERIOUS DRAMA. NOT. JUST LAST NIGHT, I WAS TRYING MY BEST TO BE IN MY PERFECT CONDITION. HAPPY, SMILING, JOYFUL, DESPITE THE FACT THAT I AM IN SUCH PAIN. PAIN DUE TO A HEARTACHE THAT I HAVEN’T OVERCOME YET. THEY SAID MOVING ON WAS EASY. EASY FOR THEM, BUT PAINFUL FOR ME.

YOU SEE, OUR SHELTERS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE CALLED OUR COMFORT ZONE. BUT I DON’T KNOW IF I’LL EVER CALL MINE WITH THAT. I MEAN, WHO LIKES TO LIVE IN A HOUSE THAT MAKES YOU CRY ALWAYS? THAT ALWAYS MAKE YOU HATE YOURSELF DESPITE YOU TRYING TO BE A GOOD DAUGHTER, SISTER AND HOUSEMATE. OUR HOUSE IS HELL. AND WHENEVER MY PARENTS CALLS MY NAME, I SHIVER AND I WHINE. BECAUSE WHENEVER THEY CALL ME, IT’S EITHER, THERE’S SOMTHING WRONG AGAIN (AND I GET TO BE BLAMED FOR ALL OF IT) OR TWO, ERRANDS THAT I’M SUPPOSE TO DO.

SOMETIMES I SAID TO MYSELF THAT I BETTER DO GO WITH MY COLLEGE SO AFTERWARDS I GET A JOB RIGHT AWAY AND I’LL FIND A HOUSE OR EVEN JUST A CONDO OF MY OWN. I CAN’T LIVE MY LIFE HERE FOREVER. THE MORE I LIVE HERE, THE MORE PSYCHOTIC AND CHAOTIC I GET.

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